What is Non-directive Play Therapy?

I usually say I’m a play therapist, but a more accurate title is Relational Play and Creative Arts Therapist, which I think we can all agree is a bit of a mouthful.

Carl Rogers developed relational therapy (aka person-centred or humanistic therapy) in the 40’s. He moved away from the idea that you go and see a therapist who listens to you and then tells you what your problem is, thus providing you with insight which solves your issue. Rogers’ idea was that if you provide people with the correct environment via a meaningful relationship, then they can work through their issues themself. Virginia Axline was a student of Rogers. She took his ideas and applied them to children, developing the 8 principles which form the foundation of non-directive play therapy. I am a non-directive play therapist. We add the words 'play and creative' because play and creative arts are the medium through which the children and young people I work with express themselves.

When a child comes to therapy with me, rather than expecting them to tell me what the matter is, I offer toys and creative arts (‘the toolkit’) to allow them to express themselves. Most children who are having difficulties can’t tell you what the matter is. They might be able to tell you what an adult has told them is the problem but that’s not the same thing. Often one of the main reasons for a referral is that adults have noticed a child is struggling (and the adult may have an idea why), but they are concerned that the child is unable to communicate their needs or feelings in order to ask for help. ‘Express emotions to explain how they are feeling’ is probably on 90% of the referrals that I get. Through their use of the toolkit the way a child is feeling and how they are managing those feelings is naturally 'played out', and that is what I work with.

As a child's therapist my first job is to develop a trusting relationship with them, to allow them to be truly themself in the room. We all have a tendency to present a particular side of ourselves (perhaps our ‘good’ side, or something more defensive such as defiance or risky behaviour), to new people or people with whom we do not have a close relationship. Children are no different. In this early stage I do a lot of noticing, reflecting and accepting, which helps the child to understand that whatever they bring to the session is OK, as long as no-one is getting hurt. This might sound wishy washy, but actually it can be very challenging: children are used to adults telling them what they ought to do, and they are also used to being told by them how they should be. When you stop doing that a child has to make a lot of decisions for themself which can initially feel extremely uncomfortable and can lead to children feeling reluctant to attend, but ultimately it builds self confidence and resilience.

As children get used to making their own decisions and being able to express themselves freely, their defences drop, and they start to work things out. Their play tends to get more lively and they will often tell me exactly what they want me to do in the session. At this point they will start to enjoy coming much more. At this stage in the therapy I am likely to be offering empathy and some observations such as naming emotions. This is usually indirect; so looks more like ‘that baby is crying it must feel so scared’, than ‘I wonder why you don’t like trying new things.’ With older children/young people I might explore a little more directly: ‘show me what that looks like’, but at no point would I be directive in the sense of ‘let’s have a conversation about why you don’t like school.’

There are of course always exceptions; some children come in with a very clear idea of what the matter is and what they want to do, but in all cases my role is to facilitate change using toys and creative arts, through the medium of a trusting relationship, hence 'relational play and creative arts' therapy.

If you'd like to find out more or have a chat about therapy for your child or young person, book a free 15 minute call.